Your pain is my pain
by dapperswag
Summary: Dean notices slight changes in Sam's behavior, but figures it's just a teenage thing. Is he wrong? Is Sam's suffering more painful than he thought? Sam 14, Dean 18. One shot. I don't own Supernatural.


Not living in a proper house was hard. Traveling around the country all the time was hard. Hunting down evil creatures was awesome, but still hard. Not being able to have a long terms relationship (even if he will never admit it) was hard. But those were things Dean could _handle_. What he _couldn't_ handle was seeing his little brother suffer. And, frankly, he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

It started a few months ago – it probably had been going on much longer, but Dean can be very oblivious – when Dean picked Sam up from school and he noticed that the young teen didn't talk as much as he usually did. He sat quietly in the passenger seat as Dean started fumbling with the radio, trying to find a song that he felt like listening to. Half way home he glanced at his brother, finally realizing that the only word Sam had uttered since entering the car was 'hi'.

"Sammy, are you okay?"

Sam tiredly turned his head from where it was resting on the window and looked at him. "I'm fine."

"Well, how was school?" Dean asked. Sammy usually told him everything that had happened during the day. Dean felt a bit concerned that he still hadn't mentioned it.

"It was fine," was Sam's reply. It was too simple, halfhearted, and weary.

But Dean left it at that, figuring he'd just had a rough day.

A few weeks later, just as Sam had turned 14, Dean started to notice his mood swings and change of attitude; especially towards their father. They fought a lot, Sam was more sarcastic than usual, and quick to voice his disagreement. He also snapped at people. And that was very un-Sam-like.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean greeted one afternoon as he entered the motel room, food bags in hand.

Sam looked up from the book he was currently reading – and Dean had to smile at that. Some things never change – "Hi, Dean."

"I brought grub," he announced, dropping the food on the table. Sam heaved himself up and walked towards him, reaching for one of the burgers.

Seriously, how could a kid eat that much and that fast? He was becoming worse than Dean.

"Finished already?" he asked as Sam stood up from the table. He was only half way through his meal.

"Yup." Sam threw himself onto one of the beds again, sighing loudly.

That's when Dean realized; Sam was a teenager. Acting this way was in his nature. Dean had probably been just as bad, only he had a younger brother to take care of at the same time. Sam didn't have to worry about setting a good example.

He glanced at his brother again. He was already drifting off. At least he didn't sleep as much as Dean did. Yet.

Dean will never forget that one time he accidentally caught Sam in a…extremely awkward and intimate position. He'd probably be scarred for life, but it was nothing compared to the blood curling scream Sam had emitted, and how he refused to look Dean in the eye for a whole week afterwards. Dean shouldn't be surprised, really. Sam was probably very sexually frustrated, seeing as he almost always had to share room with his father and older brother. His hormones were raging, and he'd sought to the sanctuary that was the bathroom, only this time Dean had arrived home early and the little squirt had forgotten to lock the door. It was needless to say that neither of them ever mentioned it again.

But Dean started talking to Sam about girls; asking him if there was anyone in particular that had caught his eye. Sam would blush and look away, mumbling a weak 'no', and Dean would grin and ruffle his hair.

When Sammy started going into the quiet phase again he figured it was because of a crush. He knew some kids that age were very insecure about this kind of stuff. Sure, he hadn't been, but that doesn't mean Sam didn't.

He kept bugging him, asking him who she was and teasing him when he'd go all red. But there was something about his behavior that told Dean it had nothing to do with a girl. It was something else.

The night when he found Sam crying his eyes out on his bed would change his life forever. Dad was away, claiming that he had to handle this spirit alone and that Dean had to stay behind and watch over Sammy, so the boys were staying at a motel by themselves. Dean had woken up in the middle of the night by a muffled sob, and he blindly searched for the small light on the bedside table, finally being able to turn it on.

The sight that greeted him was heartbreaking. Sam was curled into a ball under the covers, sobs shaking his entire body as he pressed his face into the pillow. Dean immediately flew up, reaching for his baby brother's form and hugging him close.

"Shh, Sammy, it's okay," he soothed. He didn't know what was wrong, so he had no idea if it _was_ okay, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

"Dean?" Sam choked out weakly, looking up at him through his bloodshot eyes.

"I'm here, Sammy, I'm here. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay."

Sam looked torn between continuing crying and wiping his face and pretend this never happened, but he eventually slouched into his big brother and burrowed his face into his chest. Dean held him tightly.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" he asked once Sam had finally calmed down.

"It's nothing."

"Nothing my ass. Sam, I find you crying on your bed in the middle of the night and you didn't seem to be able to stop there for a moment, and you expect me to believe it's nothing?"

Sam sighed, running a hand over his tear streaked face. "I guess not."

"Exactly. Now talk."

"I'm just tired, you know. Tired of always having to move around, always being reprimanded for what I do wrong and never get any praise when I do something right, always being the victim at school, the second best at home. I'm just really tired, Dean."

Dean could only stare at him. Sure, the moving around thing he'd known of, but the rest? Since when was he the second best at home? Was that directed to him? And what did he mean about being a victim at school?

"Sam," was all he said, waiting for further explanations, but received nothing. He sighed and scooted closer to his little brother, wiping his wet cheeks gently. "How about you start with the school thing."

Sam nodded, leaning back onto the headboard and looking rather pained that he had to talk about it, but was feeling very grateful that he actually_ could_ talk about it for once. He was sick of holding it all in.

"I get picked on. A lot. People always make fun of me for different reasons. And I just can't understand why, Dean. No one ever makes fun of you. We're brothers. Shouldn't I be more like you?" Sam asked, every word carrying the pain he had hidden for so long. "And dad always picks you over me. Don't you dare deny that, Dean, you know it's true. He always points out my mistakes. I've spent most of my life feeling worthless. Do you know what that's like? Of course you don't. You're you. And I don't blame you for it. I wish I could feel the way you do. Everything would be so much easier." He exhaled loudly, closing his eyes so that he didn't have to look at his older brother's shocked face. "The only person that's ever actually cared about me is you. And I'm grateful for that, but sometimes one person isn't enough, you know?"

Ouch. That hurt. Sure, he couldn't always be Sam's everything, but he certainly wished he could.

"And everything just feels so awful right now, Dean. I just wish it could all go away."

Dean sighed, ran a hand through his messy hair and looked at Sam who finally opened his eyes again. The pain in them was so evident it made Dean cringe at the thought that his little brother had been feeling this way for so long without him noticing. He pulled him into his arms again, ignoring Sam surprised yelp and hugged him close.

"I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, Sam. I'm sorry I never realized something was wrong." Dean kissed the top of his head. "I'm always gonna be here for you, Sammy. I promise."

Sam nodded, feeling his eyes tear up again. Sometimes you didn't need someone to give you advice or make the pain go away. Sometimes you just needed someone to listen to you.

Dean hated seeing his brother suffering, and he promised himself that he'd do everything in his power to make it easier. He had to.

**A/N:**

**It's like 1 am so I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes or whatever, but when I write I can't wait till the next day, I have to post it immediately.**

**This was my first Supernatural fic, but hopefully not the last. I just adore the idea of Dean watching Sam grow up and helping him with his problems – typical teenage problems as well as Winchester problems – and just brotherly love in general.**

**If you want something to be written, just send me a prompt (either here or on my tumblr .com) and I'll give it a try. Reviews will be very much appreciated.**

**/xo Natassa**


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